Desperately Wanting
by Topsy
Summary: Carol meets Doug at an important time in her life.....
1. Desperately Wanting

Please title this page. (Page 1)

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March 8-13, 01. 

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Doug walked down the sidewalk of Chicago. He had recently gotten a job there, as a pediatrician in the ER at Cook County General. He hadn't been in Chicago for long and he was acquainting himself to the city. 

He buried his hands deep into his pockets to avoid the nip of cold in his fingertips. Doug looked up, watching the buildings as he walked by, checking things out, noting the location of the grocery store and a small diner where he might stop by for some meals. When he looked up from the sidewalk he saw a sign that read 'Abortion and Prenatal Care Clinic'. He wondered why in the world the two of those would be combined to form one clinic. He shrugged and turned his head down the alley where the door to the clinic was supposed to be. 

He saw a woman, one hand on the door, and the other hand over her mouth, shaking slightly. His eyebrows knitted together as he looked down at her. He began walking towards her, hearing the soft sobs slipping from beneath her hands. As he got closer he was nearly blown over by her beautifully exotic looks. 

"Ma'am?" He asks. She looks up, startled, taking a step back. 

"Oh.." She says and reaches up, wiping her face frantically. 

"Are you okay?" He asks. She shakes her head slightly before nodding. 

"I'm fine." She manages to get out, her voice husky from crying. He smiled warmly. 

"Are you sure you're okay? You don't look okay." He says. She shakes her head, trying to smile, but not succeeding. 

"No..I'm okay, really." She says just as the door of the clinic opens and a young woman walks out, her stomach expanding slightly with pregnancy. She smiled politely at the two of them before heading back down the alley, towards the way Doug had come. The woman beside Doug immediately burst into a fresh fit of tears. He turned back towards her. 

"Hey, don't cry." He says and walks towards her. She is extremely surprised when she feels his arms go around her and he pulls her towards him. She doesn't even know this man, but the gentle way of him has her crying in his shoulder, without a second thought. "Shhh..shh...it's okay." He says. She pulls away finally, realizing this man is a stranger. 

"I'm sorry." She smiles before letting out a weak giggle. "Really..I.." She shakes her head, wiping her tears away. He grins. 

"Come on, why don't we go to the diner that I just passed and you can tell me what's wrong." He says. She shrugs. 

"I uh..no..I really should, uh..get going." She says. He reaches out, touching her shoulder. 

"I won't bite, I promise. You can just tell me about your troubles, I'll offer some friendly advice, and then you can leave without ever talking to me again." He says, nearly dumbstruck by her beauty. She looks into his eyes, and her heart picks up speed, making her unable to argue with him. 

"Okay." She says softly, smiling a little. He grins. 

"There you go." He says. She grins and they begin walking out of the alley. "So, what's your name?" Doug asks. 

"Carol." She replies. He grins. 

"Carol, I'm Doug." He says. She smiles shyly. 

"Hi Doug." She says. He grins and pushes open the door of the diner. They take a seat in a booth, across from one another. 

"Do you want to order anything?" He asks. She shrugs. 

"Maybe just a glass of lemonade." She says. He nods and signals the waitress. She walks over. 

"I just need two lemonades." Doug says. She nods. 

"Anything else?" She asks. Doug looks at Carol who shakes her head. 

"Nope. I think that'll be all." Doug says to the waitress. She nods with a slight smile and walks off to get their drinks. Carol giggles slightly. 

"Wow, this is strange." She says. He raises his eyebrows slightly, a smile at the corners of his mouth. "I don't normally just go get a glass of lemonade with a stranger like this." She says. He chuckles. 

"Me neither." He says. She shrugs and looks around the diner. 

"You know, I've lived here in Chicago my whole life and I've never been here." She says. He nods. 

"So, you're a native are you?" He asks. She nods. 

"Yeah. Born and raised." She says. He nods. 

"I've lived in Kentucky most of my life but then I moved out here. My Mom moved out here a few years ago and the hospital where I work got closed in Kentucky, so I decided to head out here to look for a job, considering my mother is my only family." He says. She nods. 

"You work at a hospital?" She asks. He nods. 

"Emergency care pediatrician." He says. 

"Really? I'm the head nurse in an ER." She says. 

"Wow, that's pretty strange." He says. She nods. 

"Have you found work here yet?" She asks. He nods. 

"Yeah, Cook County General." He says. She shakes her head. 

"No way...that's where I work." She says. 

"Really? Wow..that is strange." He says, they laugh slightly. The waitress comes back with their lemonade and they each sip it a little. She sighs. 

"Ahh, that's pretty good. I don't think I've had lemonade in long time." She says. He nods, tapping his fingers along the side of his glass. 

"So...why were you crying?" He asks. She looks back to him, surprised at the turn in conversation. She gives him a wary look, still not sure if she should tell him. He grins. 

"If you don't want to tell me, that's fine, but I promise not to tell anyone, if you want me to keep it to myself." He says. She sighs and looks down into her glass. 

"Well..to put it frankly, I'm pregnant." She says. He looks up at her and nods slightly. "Don't tell anyone that." She says. He grins. 

"I promise." He says. She smiles. 

"Thanks....I uh..Well..as you might have guessed, I was going to get an abortion..." She trails off, looking at him, not sure how he will react, seeing as he is a pediatrician. He just nods. 

"I figured as much, since you were crying and not going in." He says. She nods and sighs. 

"I couldn't go in..I just....Since I'm a nurse, I've seen that sort of stuff all the time, y'know? And..I was worried that, well, if I do abort this baby, will I ever get pregnant again? I want to be a mother..but..this wasn't how it should be..I.." She stops and looks up at him. He smiles reassuringly and reaches out, touching her hand. She smiles weakly. 

"Go on." He whispers. 

"It was a one night stand...I had a bad day at work and so I went to a bar after work and got drunk. I never do that! I never have before but it was just a particularly bad day. To make a long story short, I slept with someone I don't know...all I know is his name was Jack. I got pregnant and...I mean, how can I go to work and explain this to all my friends? My mother, oh God. Both my sisters are married with children, my mom would about kill me if I got pregnant and wasn't married..or at least dating and in love with that man and planning to marry him eventually." She says. He raises his eyebrows slightly. "I didn't know what to do, so I panicked. But I thought, well, the longer I hold out...the harder it would be, y'know? And then I just couldn't go in. I couldn't get myself to open up the door, walk in and let them take my baby so I just broke down and couldn't stop." She says. He nods. 

"Do you want my friendly advice?" He asks. She shrugs. 

"Sure." She says. 

"I'm against abortion, mostly because I feel it's somewhat like murder..but I also believe women should have the choice and that I shouldn't have too much of a say in it, considering I am a man and will never be put in that situation. But what I think you need to think about is if you want to get rid of this baby or not. Even if you don't know the man you shouldn't think of it that way, you should think of it as your child..no matter who the father is. You should consider if you will be able to properly care for this child. Which, considering you are a nurse, I wouldn't doubt that you would. But do you want this child, is the main question. And of course, you need to think about your future. Your future children...husband...even boyfriends. It's entirely up to you." He says. She nods. 

"That's what I'm afraid of." She says. "I'm a nurse and I know how to take care of a child, but the question is, can I? Will I be able to do it alone?" She asks. He shrugs. 

"Will you?" He asks. 

"I don't know." She whispers, turning away from him. He smiles softly. 

"I hope you make the choice that is right for you." He says and signals the waitress and she heads towards him. 

"How much is that going to be?" He asks. 

"Do you want the bill, sir?" She asks. He shakes his head. 

"It won't be necessary." He says. She nods. 

"Well, it'll be about a dollar ten." She says. He nods and gets into his pocket and grabs out three dollars. 

"Here ya go, keep the change." He says with a warm smile. She nods and turns, heading away. Doug turns back to Carol. 

"I'm going to go now and I want you to make your decision, whether it be now...or sometime soon. But if you choose to get the abortion and you choose that now, then I'll leave you alone to do it." He stands. "I'll see you at work Carol. Oh, and your secret's safe with me." He says. She grins. 

"Thank you, Doug." She says. He grins. 

"Bye for now, Carol." He says and exits the diner. She smiles after him and stares over at his cup before she stands. She smiles at the waitress and nods her head before she leaves. She walks to the sign that Doug had read just minutes earlier. She smiled and shook her head before taking off down the sidewalk towards home. 

+++++ 

"I'd like to introduce you to everybody....that is here at the present moment." Mark Greene said, taking Doug out to the administration desk. 

"Alright, this is Kerry Weaver the other attending." Mark said, pointing to a women with reddish hair and a cane. Doug's mind wandered, but thought it would be best to not ask her about it. He nodded with a smile. She nodded. "Uh..there's John Carter, everyone calls him Carter. Peter Benton, a surgeon who you will be seeing quite a lot of." Peter acknowledged him, but didn't greet him. "Then we have Carol Hathaway, our head nurse." Mark says. 

"Yeah, Carol and I have met." Doug says, sending Carol a friendly smile. She grins back. 

"You have?" Mark asks. 

"We have." Doug says, not offering any explanation. Mark shrugs. 

"Then we have our other nurses, Haleh, Chuny, Malik, and Lydia." Mark says. They all grin at him. 

"Hello." He says. A chorus of replies erupt from the small group of nurses. Doug chuckles lightly. 

"Well...since you already know Carol, how about she gives you the grand tour. Carol?" Mark says, looking at Carol. 

"Sure." Carol replies. "Doug?" She asks. He nods. 

"Alright, Nurse Hathaway." He says. She grins and they turn and walk off down the hallway, everyone returning to work behind them, wondering when and where they met before. 

"I was wondering when you started." She says. He grins. 

"Were you? I was wondering if you would be here today." He says. She smiles. 

"I'm here all the time, it seems like." She says. He chuckles. 

"Yeah, it can feel that way sometimes." He says. She nods and walks slowly beside him, not really giving him a tour, just walking. He grins softly at her, realizing she's off in another world, not even thinking about telling him where they are. He doesn't speak though, he's content to just watch her out of the corner of his eye as she thinks. 

"I didn't do it." She says, looking at him. He nods. 

"I didn't think you would." He says. She nods. 

"I couldn't...it was just..I..I don't know. I didn't have the heart to kill my child." She says softly, praying no one hears them talking. He nods. 

"Have you told anyone else?" He asks. She looks at him. 

"No..I..I don't know how to tell everyone, y'know? It would be completely unexpected..I haven't dated anyone in awhile..They all know I don't drink or go to bars on a normal basis. And they most likely wouldn't assume I would be the one to have a one night stand. I don't know how the hell to tell them something like this. Let alone my mother." She says. He grins slightly and reaches out, touching her arm. 

"You'll figure something out." He says. She smiles up at him and her heart flutters at his handsome face and his hand on her arm. She nods. "So..are you going to show me around?" He asks. She grins and stands up straighter. 

"Alrighty, here goes." She says and begins to lead him around. 

+++++ 

"Everyone, I have an announcement to make." Carol says, coming up to the admit desk. Doug looks at her and catches her eye. He smiles reassuringly and she nods to acknowledge him, swallowing. The rest of the crowd looks at her. 

"Could we go into the lounge, please?" She asks. They all raise their eyebrows and give her a concerned look but they walk into the lounge behind her. She takes a deep breath and Doug moves closer to her for support. 

"What's up?" Mark asks. Carol blows out a breath. 

"Guys..I'm pregnant." She says before she can stop herself. Everyone stops and stares at her, shocked. She smiles and looks at the floor. 

"I uh..it was an accident. Um.." She stops, fighting tears, and not letting anyone see her face. "I met some guy at a bar. I had a bad day and I just wanted to get something to drink and I didn't want to go home to an empty house. Well, unfortunately he came home with me instead." She winces slightly at her own words as everyone looks at her in surprise, never thinking Carol would do something like that. "You know how when Doug came two weeks ago? Well, the reason I already knew him was because he saw me standing outside of an abortion clinic, fighting with myself, trying to decide whether to go in or not." Everyone in the room softens at her words. "We found out that we both worked at County..And Doug got me to change my mind." Carol says, looking at Doug in thanks. He grins softly at her. She looks up at the rest of her friends. "I didn't know how to tell you all...I know this wasn't expected. It wasn't for me either. But, I uh, I can't do that to my child, so uh...." 

"Congratulations Carol." Lydia says and she moves over to hug Carol. Carol smiles slightly, tears coming to her eyes as the rest of the staff, except Doug, hug and congratulate her. She thanks them all before they leave the lounge, leaving her and Doug alone. He grins. 

"That was very brave of you." He says. She nods and goes to her locker, taking out her coat, but not putting it on. 

"I just wish I had someone to go home to, y'know?" Carol asks. He grins. 

"I understand." He replies, understanding her loneliness perfectly. "I'm off soon...so you wanna do something? Grab a bite to eat or something?" He asks. She grins. 

"You can come over, I can make you some coffee and I can smell it." She says. He chuckles. 

"Missing your coffee huh?" He asks. She nods, smiling widely. 

"Yes. Oh God, it's exhausting to be pregnant and then not be able to have your caffeine." She says. He chuckles. 

"Well, I'll come over, but I don't get off for another hour. Want me to just head on over there after I get off?" He asks. She nods. 

"Sure." She says. 

"What's your address?" He asks. She grins and moves over to the counter, digging through the drawers for paper and a pencil. She writes her address and gives him directions orally. "Alrighty, I'll be there when I get off." He says. She nods. 

"Okay. See ya then." She says, throwing her coat on. He grins and nods as she walks out. He chuckles to himself. 

+++++ 

He had no idea what he was going to do. He was falling for this woman...but she was pregnant. He had no idea how he felt about becoming an instant father. He sighed. Technically he was already a father, but he didn't know his son. Doug smiled to himself and shook his head. What was he even thinking? About becoming an instant father to Carol's baby? What would she say if she knew he was thinking those thoughts? He nearly laughed at himself as he rang the doorbell of her house and heard her shuffling around inside. She opened it up and grinned at him. 

"Hey Doug." She says. 

"Hello." He says. She moves aside to let him into her house. 

"Hey, this is a nice place." He says. 

"It needs a lot of work." She says, scrunching up her face. "I probably won't have a lot of time to fix it up with the baby coming and everything." She says. He chuckles. 

"Well, if you ever want help, I'm available." He says. She grins. 

"Thanks Doug. So..I made you some coffee." She says. He chuckles. 

"You didn't have to do that." He said, slipping off his jacket. She took it and threw it over the back of a chair and made her way to the kitchen. He slipped off his shoes after checking to see she didn't have hers on. He then followed her to the kitchen. She noticed his socked feet. 

"You didn't have to take your shoes off." She says, laughing. He chuckles. 

"Well..I figured it would be more polite." He says. She giggles and rolls her eyes. 

"You could've just asked." He says. 

"I could have." He says and chuckles as she hands him a cup of coffee. 

"You probably shouldn't even smell it. It might get too tempting." Doug says. She shrugs. 

"I guess I'll have to fight the urge." She says and turns and walks to the living room. He chuckles and follows her down onto the couch, sipping his coffee. 

"So, how was your last hour of work?" She asks. 

"Slow." He replies. She grins and sinks into the couch. He nods. "There's something I want to tell you." He says. She turns to him, smiling slightly. 

"Okay." She says. 

"About 11 years ago, I uh...I was in a not-so-serious relationship. I was in medical school at the time and to make a long story short, I got the girl pregnant." He says. Her eyes widen. "Her parents didn't think very highly of me, so they took her away...when she was pregnant. I ran, basically." He sighs and rubs his hand across his eyes. "My son is 11 years old..I've never met him and I don't even know his name." He reaches into his wallet and pulls out a picture of an infant baby. "I don't know what he looks like, other then from this picture." Doug says, handing the picture to her. He watches her, as she looks at the little boy in the worn picture. She looks up at him. 

"I don't know what to say." She says. 

"I wouldn't expect you to." He says. "I was extremely irresponsible back then." He studies the picture wistfully. "Her parents wouldn't let me see her, so I didn't fight it and I left the school and transferred to another one. Ever since the day I left, I've regretted it. As I get older I regret it more every day. If I wanted to, I could probably meet him, but..he's 11 years old and..if I walked back into his life now, what would he think or do? What about his mother? Wouldn't he resent me? Hate me? I don't know and I don't want to turn his life upside down that way. I love him enough to not want to turn his life all around. But..like you wondered, I wonder if I will ever have any other children and I wish I could have been there for him." He tucks the picture back into his wallet and looks at her. "I just wanted you to know that for some reason. I wanted to be honest and..share it with you." He says. She smiles slightly. 

"Thank you for telling me. I..I'm glad you did. Even if I don't really know how to respond to it..it helps. To hear I'm not really alone." She says. He grins and reaches out, squeezing her hand. 

"You're not. If you ever need a babysitter, call me up." He says. She grins. 

"I will, Doug." She says. He smiles at her and nods. 

+++++ 

Carol sighed and sat on her couch in the lounge at work. 

"I just don't know how to tell her." She said to Doug, who was sitting beside her. 

"Carol..there's no easy way to tell your mother you are pregnant and single. There's no easy way to do it and I wish I could tell you there was...but I can't. I don't know how to help you here....the best thing to do would be to tell her soon though, before you start to show very much, because she'll know before you even tell her. That's not the way to go about it." Doug says. She sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. 

"I know." She says. He grins and reaches over, tugging on one of her curls. 

"You'll find a way. You always do." He says. She grins and smiles thankfully at him. 

+++++ 

"You're beginning to show." Doug says, leaning his hip against the counter in Carol's kitchen. She sighs and looks down at her tummy, a slight smile upon her face. 

"I know, don't I look like an elephant?" She asks. He shakes his head. 

"Nope, you shine." He says, grinning. She smiles at him, pleased. 

"You're a liar." She says. He chuckles, shaking his head. 

"I don't lie. So...you haven't told Helen yet, have you?" He asks, already knowing the answer. She looks down and shakes her head. 

"No." She says. He shakes his head in disagreement. 

"Carol, you should be doing that soon. You're beginning to show." He says. She nods. 

"I will..I was planning on going tomorrow since I have the day off." She says. He nods. 

"Good." He says, moving closer to her. She smiles at him. 

"I don't know how it will go. I wouldn't be surprised if she disowns me, but...I've got to tell her." She says, nodding. He smiles down at her, just inches away from her. He reaches up, trailing his thumb under her eye. Her smile fades as she notices the serious look on his face..in his eyes. 

"Doug..." She whispers, her voice trailing off. He runs his finger down, over her jaw. 

"I don't know what I'm doing." He says, staring into her green eyes as her breath hitches slightly in her chest. He cups her face in his right hand, feeling the pulse in her neck pound against his thumb. "If you slap me, I deserve it..But I have to know." He says and leans forward, pressing his lips to hers in a soft, breathless kiss. She stands rock solid, unsure of herself and what he was doing. Why he was doing it. But, oh, God, she wanted it. She inched closer to him, closing her eyes and pressing her lips to his harder, in a kiss so mind boggling she couldn't think. All she could do was feel..his lips..his body against hers. She barely registered that he had one finger resting lightly on her stomach. 

"Doug.." She says, pulling her lips away from his, but resting her forehead against his. 

"Shh.." He says, trailing a finger over her swollen lips. She opens her eyes, looking into his chocolate ones, her body still pressed against his comfortably. A smile slowly spreads across his mouth and she begins to giggle. 

"Doug..I.." She says in between laughter. He chuckles and wraps his arms around her waist gently, picking her up and swinging her around, making sure to be careful against her stomach and not hit her against anything. She laughs freely as he sets her down on the ground and nuzzles against her cheek. 

"Carol?" He asks. She looks at him, her eyes dancing. 

"Yeah?" She asks. 

"Can I talk to the baby?" He asks. Her eyes widen in surprise and then settle into pleasure. 

"Okay...I suppose." She says, grinning. He chuckles and pushes her back gently, pressing her against the counter. Then he kisses her gently before dropping to his knees. He places his hands on either side of her slightly swollen abdomen. She giggles slightly, leaning one arm against the counter and using her other to guide her fingers through his hair. 

"Hey there, baby." Doug says then presses his ear against her belly as if he will get a response. Carol laughs heartily. 

"Did you get an answer?" She asks. He looks up at her. 

"Shhh!" He exclaims, grinning wickedly before placing his ear back to her stomach. He nods and grins up at her. "Okay, I'll tell her." He says and grins before standing. She giggles. 

"Tell me what?" She asks. He chuckles. 

"He or she said that they wanted me to tell you 'Hi Mommy, I love you'." He says. She laughs and reaches up, ruffling his hair. 

"You're hilarious, Doug." She says. 

"Oh yeah?" He asks, raising his eyebrows and pressing his lips to hers quickly. She giggles. 

"Yeah." She nods and laughs some more, pressing her nose against his. He chuckles. 

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" He asks. She shrugs. 

"It doesn't matter..I guess I want a girl maybe a little more though..Only because if I have a boy, there is more of a chance it will look like him and ever since I was a little girl, I've wanted my oldest child to be a girl." She says. He grins and takes her hand, leading her towards the living room. 

"How many kids do you want?" He asks, pulling her down onto the couch with him. He wraps his arms around her stomach and rests his chin on her shoulder. 

"Three." She says. "I don't know why..I just want a daughter..then a son..then another baby that would be a surprise. I don't care if it was a boy or girl. I just want to have at least one of each because I want to know what it would be like to raise both, y'know?" She asks. He nods. 

"Yeah." He says softly. She turns her head and pats his cheek gently. He grins sadly and she can tell he is thinking of his son. "Why did you kiss me, Doug?" She asks, trying to distract him of those thoughts. He looks at her in surprise. 

"Because I've wanted to since I saw you that very first second in the alley." He says. She raises her eyebrows in surprise and delight. 

"You have?" She asks. He chuckles and nods. 

"I'd never seen anyone as beautiful as you." He says. She blushes deeply. "I doubt I ever will see anyone more beautiful then you." He whispers. She laughs shyly. 

"You're a really good liar." She says. He chuckles. 

"Maybe it's because I'm not lying." He says, kissing her cheek slightly. She nestles back against him. 

"Well..maybe you aren't..but if you are, you're good at it." She says. He chuckles. 

"Trust me..I'm not lying in this case." He whispers into her ear before nipping her earlobe gently. She gasps and pulls her head away from him slightly. He chuckles softly as she leans back towards him. She smiles slightly, but he can see that she is troubled. 

"Doug...What does all this mean to you? I mean..I..I'm pregnant, Doug. With someone else's baby...Someone that I don't even know..What..Why, Doug?" She asks, confused to why he would want to get involved with her. 

"I've asked myself that question millions of times, Carol. I don't know why, really, but I want to be with you..baby included. I care about you and therefore, I care about the child you are carrying." He says. She sighs. 

"I can never decide if I made the right choice in keeping the baby. I mean..sometimes I am so happy that I did because I love it already. But..then other times, like now, it feels like a restriction." She says. He shakes his head. 

"Why?" He asks. 

"I dunno. I just feel like I shouldn't burden you with a baby." She says. He shakes his head. 

"I'm not important in this decision, Carol. Don't bring me into this like that. It's entirely your decision and I want to get involved with you because of you...the whole packaged deal." Doug says. Carol sighs happily and turns around in his lap. She brings her lips to his again in a warm, slow kiss. He sighs softly and she reaches up, cupping his face. 

"Doug?" She murmurs. 

"Hmm?" He murmurs back, brushing her lips with his. 

"I...I want to make love with you." She says, shyly..hesitantly. He brings his hands up to her face and pulls away slightly. 

"Carol..." He says. She looks back at him, already seeing his answer in his eyes. She nods. 

"Okay...I understand..I mean..I know." She says and pulls away from him. But he pulls her back to him. 

"No, Carol. Look at me." He says. She looks up at him. 

"As much as I want to, I don't think now is the right time. The fact that you are pregnant does not bother me, okay?" He asks, looking into her eyes which are beginning to water with tears. She nods. "Good, because that's not the reason. I'm just not sure if you are really ready..or..if I'm even ready for that next step." He smiles and kisses her gently. "We will..in time." He says. She smiles and leans her forehead against his, closing her eyes. 

"I know." She whispers. He smiles and kisses her gently, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. 

"Good." He says, smiling back at her. 

+++++ 

"What've we got?" Mark asks into the MICU. 

"30 year old female, MVA. She's only half conscious..she must've hit her head on the steering wheel...and it looks like she's pregnant..maybe 2-3 months. She's not speaking but she won't take her hand off her stomach. She had her seatbelt on and she bruised her abdomen....She's bleeding vaginally. It doesn't look good for the baby." The paramedic says. Mark curses under his breath. 

"What's your ETA?" Mark asks. 

"2 minutes." The man replies. 

"Alright, we'll be ready." Mark says and hangs up, preparing the emergency room for the trauma. Mark, Carter, Haleh, and Lydia head out into the ambulance bay to wheel the woman in. Within moments the rig pulls into the ambulance bay and the paramedics open the door. When they wheel the woman out all of their hearts drop. It's Carol. 

"Oh God...Carol..can you hear me?" Mark asks as he begins to work on her. 

"Mark?" She asks. "What's happening?" She asks. Haleh squeezes her hand and Carol's gaze move towards her sluggishly. She smiles. "Haleh." She says. Haleh bends over her and smiles. 

"Hey Carol..." She says, not knowing what else to say, and not wanting to make Carol panic. Carol looks around at her surroundings. 

"What? The hospital." Carol begins to panic as she realizes she is lying on a gurney and being wheeled into a trauma room. "Mark, what is going on?" Carol asks. 

"You were in an accident, Carol." Mark says. Carol's eyes widen in fear as she looks down at her stomach. 

"The..." She stops and closes her eyes, squeezing them shut tightly. "Save my baby." Carol whispers. Her eyes fly open. "Doug..is Doug here?" She asks. Mark meets Lydia's gaze across the gurney. He nods. 

"Yes. Do you want us to get him?" Mark asks. She nods. 

"Please." She whispers and closes her eyes, listening to Mark shout out orders as tears slip out of her eyes effortlessly. Within seconds she hears the doors bust open and she opens her eyes, looking straight up into Doug's face. 

"Dammit." He whispers and takes her hand into his. "It's gonna be okay, Carol." He says. 

"Save the baby, Doug." Carol says, whimpers flying out along with her words. 

"We're trying, Carol." Doug whispers. He kisses her forehead gently and looks up at the grim look in Mark's eyes. Mark looks down at Carol and then slowly moves his gaze to Haleh, then Lydia, then Carter, then back to Doug. Doug sees the grief-stricken look in Mark's eyes and notices the rest of their faces. His heart breaks. He hangs his head, closing his eyes. Carol looks at him and horror flutters across her face. 

"No." She says softly. Doug looks at her. She shakes her head. "No..it's a mistake." Her voice rises to hysteria. Doug closes his eyes to the pain. "Doug, no. It's not true." She presses her hand to her stomach as the whole room is silent. She begins to sob, hollow racking sounds escaping her mouth. He takes a deep breath before reaching down and gathering her into his arms as best he can. 

At first she tries to fight him off, but he just holds her, letting her pound against his chest, letting her get the rage out through him. He knows he will probably have bruises, although he barely feels the physical pain. Finally she just gives in and buries her face into him as she sobs into his neck. The others have already left the room, giving the two of them some privacy. She looks up at him, tears leaking down over her cheeks. 

"Why, Doug, why?" Carol asks. He shakes his head. 

"Shhh..C'mere.." He says, his hand pressing her head back into his shoulder. She stays quiet, not crying anymore, for the emotional pain is too immense to even cry. Doug just rocks her in his arms, not sure what else to do for her now. 

+++++ 

Doug walked into the house behind Carol. It was her first day home from the hospital. Doug was worried about her because ever since that crying spout right after she had found out about the miscarriage, she hadn't shown any trace of anymore tears. She was acting as normal as she had when she hadn't been pregnant, before he even met her. At least that's what Mark had said when they discussed her earlier that day. 

"Here, you go have a seat in the living room and I'll fix us some coffee." Doug says. She grins at him. 

"That sounds good. Coffee." She says. He chuckles lightly. "But, I'm going with you into the kitchen. I'm tired of sitting still." She says. He smiles at her and nods before they head into the kitchen. He starts the coffee as she gets mugs out of the cupboard. She moves towards the sink, looking out the window for a rather long time. He studies her back, watching her intently. She smiles and turns to look at him. 

"Spring is coming, I'd say." She says. He nods at her. 

"Yeah, it's warming up. We haven't had snow for awhile." He says. She nods. 

"Thank God. I love the beginning of spring." She says. He chuckles and looks at the coffee maker. It's finished so he fills up the mugs and hands on to her. She takes a sip and sighs, closing her eyes. 

"Mmm.." She says, her whole body feeling that first jolt of caffeine, gratefully. He chuckles at her face. She smiles at him before making her way into the living room. He follows her before she stops abruptly, almost spilling her coffee as she stares down at the table in front of the couch. He moves up beside her, looking at her. 

"Carol?" He asks but her eyes stay fixed on the table. He follows her gaze and his heart starts to pump as he sees what she is looking at. He places his coffee on the stand next to the couch and easily takes her mug from her hands and places it next to his. He moves to the coffee table and picks up the magazine lying there, opened up to pictures of baby rooms. He closes the magazine and moves it out of her sight. "C'mere." He says, moving towards her with his arms opened. She steps easily into his embrace and begins to cry softly. 

"Before I left for my mom's, I was looking to get ideas for the baby's room." She says and lets out a sob. Her hand moves up to cover her mouth and she tries to hold it in. He pulls her hand away. 

"Just let it go, baby, let it go." He says. She looks up at him, her vision blurred. 

"Doug...It's gone..I'll never get to see it grow up. I'll never get to know it." She sobs. "I don't even know if it was a boy or a girl." She says. He pulls her close, rubbing her back and her hair, trying desperately to take her pain away. 

"Shhh..One day, Carol, you'll have your three babies to take care of and you'll be happy. You'll never forget this baby....and the pain will never completely go away, but it will fade and you'll be able to be happy again. But for now, just let it all out." He says. She sobs, her body heaving with the deep racking. He kisses the side of her head as he rocks her in his arms. 

+++++ 

Carol walked into work for the first time since her accident. She smiled at Randi, who was flipping through a fashion magazine. 

"Carol, hey girl! How are you?" Randi asks. Carol grins. 

"Glad to be back." She says. Randi nods, snapping her gum. 

"That's good." Randi says. All of a sudden Lydia, Haleh, and Chuny all appear out from the hall and spot Carol. 

"Carol!" They all say at the same time, moving to embrace her. She laughs happily, glad her friends are there. She smiles and they all exchange greetings. When Carol finally breaks away from them, she spots Doug coming down the hall. She smiles secretly at him before Kerry Weaver pops up in her face. 

"Hey Carol." Kerry says. Carol smiles. 

"Oh, hey Kerry." Carol says. 

"Welcome back." Kerry says. Carol grins. 

"Thanks." She says, turning and picking up a chair, anxious to get ready for work. 

"Carol..if you feel the need to take rests anytime, you go ahead. And maybe you should take it easy these first few days." Kerry suggest, genuinely concerned. Carol grins. 

"Kerry, really, I'd rather go back into it full steam. I appreciate your offer though." Carol says. Kerry nods. 

"Okay. But if you feel the need to take a break or something, feel free." She says. Carol smiles. 

"Thanks." Carol says. Kerry nods and heads off down the hall. Carol turns around and comes face to face with Doug. He grins at her. She smiles back at him. 

"Hey Doug." She says. He grins. 

"People already messing with you?" He asks. Her smile widens. 

"Yeah. Of course the girls were all over me, then Kerry offered to take it easy, but I told her I would rather dive right back in." She says. He nods. 

"Yeah. Well..take breaks if you need them." He warns playfully. She grins. 

"Yes Mother!" She exclaims. He chuckles. 

"Shouldn't that be Father?" He asks. She shrugs. 

"Yeah, I suppose so, you just sounded like my mom then..I don't remember my Dad so well." She says. He nods and reaches up, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. 

"If you need to rest though, seriously, take a break. Everyone will understand." He says. She smiles softly. 

"I'm glad you're so worried about me, but Doug, I'm going to be fine." She says. He nods. 

"I know you will." He says. She grins and holds up a chart. 

"Well, I'm going to go to my first patient." She says. He grins at her as she walks away. 

"Good luck!" He teases, grinning. She rolls her eyes and walks off with a smile. 

+++++ 

Doug unlocked the door of Carol's house. She had asked him to come over that night and had given him a spare key so he could let himself in. The house was dark except a single light on in the kitchen, over the sink. 

"Carol?" He called out. 

"Back here." She replied. He made his way back towards the bedroom and saw her sitting on the window seat in her room. 

"Hey." He said softly. She smiled at him and turned back to look out the window. 

"Hi." She replied. 

"Carol?" He asks. She looks at him briefly. 

"Hmm?" She asks him in return. 

"Are you okay?" He asks. She nods. 

"Yeah..I just can't stop thinking. I would be 3 months pregnant today." She says. He sighs softly and makes his way towards her. He places his hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. 

"How can I help you?" He asks, not sure what to do. She looks up at him and smiles. 

"Just be here." She says. He smiles softly and nods. 

"I can do that." He says. He reaches underneath her and picks her up. She looks at him, her eyes puzzled. He smiles and sits down on the big window seat before placing her in his lap to look out at the clear night together. She turns to him, her eyes swimming with tears before they fall silently. He kisses one away gently, before she leans back, leaning her forehead against his chin, silent tears running down her face for the baby that wasn't. 

+++++ 

Carol had fallen asleep in Doug's arms on the window seat. He had sat and held her for about an hour, before deciding to put her into bed. He stood up, carrying her to the bed and laid her on the side opposite hers. He pulled the covers down on her side of the bed before looking back at her. Luckily for him, she had already put her pajamas on before he had arrived, so he wouldn't have to wake her. He stood, watching her for a few minutes before reaching down and scooping her easily into his arms once again. She stirred, resting her cheek against his chest. He walked around the bed and laid her on her side, pulling the covers up over her. She opened her eyes sleepily, looking up at him. 

"Doug?" 

"Hmm..?" He asks, smiling softly at her, brushing a piece of hair from her face. 

"Will you stay?" She asks. 

"Do you want me to?" He asks. She nods. 

"Please." She mumbles. He nods. 

"Okay." He whispers and walks around to the other side of the bed. He unbuttons his jeans and leaves them on the floor beside the bed before pulling the covers back and sliding in, in his boxers and t-shirt. Carol immediately moves into his embrace, laying her head on his chest and bringing one hand up to curl beside her face on his chest. He wrapped his arms around gently, holding her against him as she quickly drifted off to sleep. He closed his eyes and immediately followed her into a restless sleep. 

+++++ 


	2. The Way I Feel Tonight

Please title this page. (Page 2)

.__.__.__.__. 

March 13, 01. 

.__.__.__.__. 

Doug sat on the couch, Carol's arms around his neck, his lips pressed against hers passionately. Doug's hands were under the back of Carol's shirt, roaming her bare flesh. He moaned slightly through the kiss, praying to God she wouldn't stop this time. It had been entirely too long since he had made love to a woman and Carol had been so irresistible since he had met her, but he wasn't sure if she was ready, or when she would be ready. 

She pulled away from him, resting her forehead against his, her eyes closed. Their breathing came quickly as they gulped air to breath. He held in a sigh, knowing she wasn't ready. 

"Doug.." Carol says. 

"Shhh..I know, Carol. I know. I can wait." Doug says. She opens her eyes, looking at him sadly. 

"I'm sorry." She says. He smiles widely, shaking his head. 

"No, it's okay. I understand." Doug says. He presses his lips to her nose softly. 

"C'mon. Let's watch a movie or something." Doug says, pulling her off his lap and sitting her on the couch beside him before he stands. He makes his way to her shelf of movies. "What do you want to watch?" He asks. 

"I don't care. You pick something." She says. He scans the shelves, looking for something of interest. She sighed and hoped she would be ready soon. 

.__.__.__.__. 

Carol sighed and walked aimlessly around the house, looking for something of interest to do. Her mind kept wandering to Doug. 

Why wasn't she ready to have sex with him? She asked herself. She knew the reasons why. She was insecure and was afraid she wouldn't be able to satisfy him now that she had been pregnant AND had miscarried. What if he didn't like it and so he left her? She didn't think she could stand to have him leave her and she had only known him for 3 months. She sighed and stood, looking out the kitchen window. She wanted him, she was sure of that. He wanted her too, she knew, but would he want her after he had her? She knew the only way to find out would be to see what happens. She smiled then, knowing what she had to do. She went into the living room quickly, grabbing her purse and her coat and headed out the door. 

.__.__.__.__. 

Doug walked to his apartment, unlocking the door. He opened it and heard some music coming from somewhere. What the hell? He hadn't left the radio on this morning, had he? He shook his head, knowing he hadn't. He walked further into the apartment and was startled when he saw Carol. She was dressed in a long, black skirt and a gray sweater. She had black sandals on and her hair was pulled up into a high ponytail, diamond earrings dangling from her ears. 

"Carol?" He asks. She grins and moves closer to him. 

"Hey Doug." She says quietly. 

"What are you going here?" He asks, slipping his coat off and throwing it onto the couch and throwing his keys onto the table beside the couch. She grinned wider and took his hands into hers. 

"I have a surprise." She says. He raises his eyebrows, grinning now. 

"You do?" He asks. She nods. 

"Come here." She says and turns, leading him by the hand towards the kitchen. He follows her curiously. He steps behind her into the dim kitchen, lights provided by candles. He smells something and looks down at the table and saw steak, baked potatoes, and salad along with a bottle of wine. 

"Well, what's all this?" He asks, grinning widely. She smiles and kisses him lightly. 

"Dinner." She says and whirls to her chair, taking a seat. He chuckles at her and sits down across from her. 

"What's the occasion?" He asks. She smiles. 

"To celebrate us." She says. He grins happily and pours them each glasses of wine. 

"Us." He says and smiles at her before clinking his glass with hers. 

.__.__.__.__. 

"Doug..we'll clean up later, there's more." Carol says, standing. Doug raises his eyebrows. 

"More?" He questions. She nods and smiles happily. 

"Yes. C'mon." She says and walks into the living room. He follows her like a puppy, curious to what she has in store. She cranes her neck around and grins at him. She walks towards the stereo and messes around with a few buttons before Doug hears a song fill the stereo. He grins as she moves towards him. 

"May I have this dance?" He asks her. She giggles. 

"Yes you may." She says as he takes her hand into his and she brings her other hand up to his shoulder. She smiles at him as he begins to lead her around the living room, more graceful with her then she had suspected he would be. When they bump into the stand she giggles happily and he chuckles at her, swaying along with the music. He pulls her closer and closer until her body is resting against his and they are dancing quietly, eyes closed, enjoying the moment together, hardly moving anymore. As the song ends, he still doesn't release her. 

"Doug?" She murmurs in question. He looks down at her and she smiles, making him dizzy. He could get drunk on that smile. "I'm ready." She whispers softly. His eyes widen slightly. 

"You are?" He asks. She nods. 

"Yes. If you still want to.." She says, her voice trailing off as she becomes uncertain again. He grins and gathers her close to him, pressing his lips to her in a sweet kiss. When he pulls away, she sighs softly, her eyes closed. "Doug.." She whispers. He brings his hands down, linking them with hers and begins to nudge her down the hall towards his room, his gaze concentrated solely on her. Her heart flutters in her chest as she gazes up into those beautiful brown eyes. 

.__.__.__.__. 

"Carol.." Doug whispered, wanting her to look at him. She met his gaze with her own and gasped as he slipped inside her. 

"Oh, Doug..It's wonderful." She managed to murmur before she was overcome with pleasure as she clung to Doug. 

.__.__.__.__. 

Carol nestled into Doug's arms, her body lazy with sex and sleep. 

"Mmm.." She purred slightly. He chuckled softly. 

"Tired?" He asks. She nods and opens her eyes to look up at him. 

"You don't want to kick me out, do you?" She asks. His eyes widen. 

"What? Why would I do that?" He asks. She shrugs and looks away from him. 

"Maybe..it wasn't good for you." She says. He grins at her uncertainty. 

"You think it wasn't good for me?" He asks. She shrugs. 

"I don't know." She says. He smiles and brings his hand to her chin, tilting her head up to look at him. 

"It was great for me." Doug announces. She smiles softly. 

"It was?" She asks. He quickly rolls her over, pressing his body against hers and growling softly. She giggles as he nuzzles her neck. 

"It was amaaaazing!" He says and brings his head up to look at her. "I don't have to show you again, do I?" He asks. Her eyes widen. 

"Doug?" She asks then gasps as she feels his mouth latch over her breast. "Ohh.." She whispers, and her hands move up to surround his head. 

.__.__.__.__. 


	3. We Three

Please title this page. (Page 3)

|-----o-----| 

March 13-14, 01. 

|-----o-----| 

This is just a brief little summary type deal. Well, it's been about 5 months since Carol's miscarriage. She and Doug have been "intimate" for about 4 months or so. And they've been dating since--as you know from the first chapter--right before she had the miscarriage. Also, Carol dated Tag and Shep in the past, and everything with Tag happened, only Doug wasn't there. But Carol DID NOT try to commit suicide. Her father did die when she was younger. I just wanted to clear that up. 

|-----o-----| 

Carol ran out of the master bathroom and out of her bedroom. She flew into the study where she kept all her files and documents. She saw the rocking chair in the corner that her grandmother use to own but gave to Carol when she died. Carol sat in the chair and drew her legs up to her chest, burying her face in her knees and began to cry. She squeezed her legs to her chest, pressing her face as far as she could into her knees and let out loud, numerous sobs, gulping for breath. She cried for a good few minutes. 

Stop. You have to stop crying, Carol told herself. She sighed and shook her head, resisting the urge to scream and cry. She gritted her teeth and sighed, letting her head fall against her knees once more as she rocked herself gently in the chair. 

|-----o-----| 

Doug used the spare key Carol had given him to get into her house. She had asked him to come over after work and since she hadn't worked that day, he was anxious to see her. He walked into the house, noticing all the lights were on. He smiled, glad she was home, even though she had said she would be. 

"Carol?" He called out. He didn't hear a reply. "Carol, where are you?" He called out, his ears straining to hear her answer. When he didn't hear her call out to him, his brows scrunched in puzzlement. "Carol?" He calls out again, making his way towards her room. He looks in, his eyes sweeping the room and doesn't see her, but he notices the bathroom light on. He walks over to the doorway and another quick sweep of his eyes tells him she is not in there. He begins to head back to the living room when he sees her curled into a ball in an old rocker in the study. He stops in the doorway, looking in on her. She is looking up at him, her face red and wet from the tears she had shed. "Carol?" He asks, quickly moving into the room and dropping to his knees in front of her. "What's wrong?" He asks, reaching out to touch her cheek gently. She shudders away from him. 

"Don't." She says. He looks up at her, confused and concerned. 

"Okay." He says, pulling his hands away from her, leaving them resting on the arms of the chair, steadying the sway. "Do you want to tell me what is wrong?" He asks. She shakes her head, burying her face into her knees once again, fighting herself to hold the tears in. "Care?" He asks, using the nickname he affectionately called her. 

"Doug...stop." She says. He becomes silent, watching her, unsure of what to do and wishing he knew what was upsetting her. She heard his knees cracking as he stood up. 

"If you want to talk, I'll be out in the living room." He says. Her head comes up as she watches the back of him leaving the room. 

"Doug!" She calls out. He stops and turns around. "Don't go. Please." She whispers. He walks back to her, bending down and taking her face into his hand. He wipes away the tears on her cheeks. 

"Tell me what's wrong." He says. She shakes her head. 

"Don't hate me." She says. He smiles softly. 

"Carol..I don't..and I won't." He says. She sucks in a deep shaky breath. 

"Doug....I can't..I don't know how to tell you.." She says. 

"Just tell me. Just get it out." He says. She sighs and chews her bottom lip nervously. 

"I'm pregnant, Doug, I'm pregnant again but with your baby." She says. She watches as his face erupts in surprise, and what she thinks is delight. 

"I..I thought we were careful." Doug says. She nods and looks down at her hands. 

"Me too." She says. 

"Carol..how do you feel about this?" He asks. She shrugs. 

"I don't know, Doug. This wasn't suppose to happen this soon, I mean. What if something happens again? I don't think I could handle it. And what if..what if something is wrong with me now because of the accident and I can't carry a child?" She asks. He smiles softly. 

"Carol, I've been a doctor long enough to tell you that a miscarriage like yours wouldn't cause you to lose future children. You didn't lose the baby because of something natural, you lost it because of an accident and the baby was too young and not strong enough to fight for itself. But if it will make you feel better, we'll have Coburn check you out...Who is your OB/GYN?" Doug asks. 

"MacLucas." Carol says, sniffling slightly. He smiles. 

"Okay then, we'll go to MacLucas and get her opinion and have her check out just in case, alright?" He asks. She nods. 

"Okay." She says and realizes he hasn't even said how he feels yet, he's been too worried about how she felt. 

"Doug..there's still a chance I could lose the baby.." Carol says. He smiles. 

"I know. There always is with anyone that is pregnant, Carol, not just you. But if it will make you feel better, we won't drive to work anymore, so you can't get in a car accident. We'll take the El. And I'll help you around the house as much as I can. You can eat healthy and exercise and," He grins, "stop drinking coffee again." He says. She groans. 

"Aw man!" She whines, a smile on her lips. "Doug...How do you feel about it?" She asks. He smiles. 

"I'm thrilled." He says, his eyes lighting up. "Here, c'mon, I have somewhere I want to show you." Doug says, standing up and pulling her out of the chair. 

"Doug?" She asks. 

"C'mon, get your coat and shoes." He says, walking out into the living room with her on his heels. 

"Doug, where are we going?" She asks. 

"You'll see when we get there." He says. She sighs but pulls on her shoes. 

|-----o-----| 

"Doug, this is great!" Carol exclaims, hopping out of his jeep and looking around at the deserted park. He chuckles and gets out, watching as she wraps her arms around herself and looks around in awe. 

"I found it the other day when I was just out driving around. I looked it up and it's government property, but they haven't done anything with it for over 3 years." Doug says. 

"It's amazing all the places I've never been to in Chicago and I've lived here for 30 years." Carol says, with a happy sigh. Doug reaches over, entwining his fingers with hers. She smiles at him and pulls him along, wanting to look around some more. They walk around for a little while, discovering things in the park. 

"Ahh, I love it here." She says, swinging around to face him. He chuckles and pulls her closer to him. 

"I have some things I want to tell you." He says. She nods. 

"Okay." She says. He grins and takes both of her hands into his own. 

"I want you to know that I want this baby.." He grins, placing one set of their hands on her stomach. She smiles. "I want it so much. You know how I talked about my son? Well..I love him. I regret not knowing him. But there isn't really any ache inside me for him. I don't wish I could see him everyday...I..I don't really...want him to know me." Doug says. "But..the difference between him..and this little one," Doug smiles, "is I love the mother. And I loved you when it was conceived. I've loved you since I laid my eyes on you in the alley way." Carol looks at him, her eyes wide in surprise. "I'm in love with you Carol Anne Hathaway and I want to be with you and our child." He says. She looks at him, her eyes beginning to water as she stares at him in disbelief. He untangles on of his hands from hers and brings it up to her face, cupping her cheek in his hand. 

"Oh.." She says, a tear slipping out of her eye and racing down her cheek. He kisses it away. "What did I do to deserve you?" She asks. He grins. 

"You were a beautiful, unique, loving person. You were you and I fell for you and I keep falling every second of every day. I ache when I'm not with you." He says. She grins, tears spilling down her cheeks before she reaches up with both of her hands, gripping his face and kissing him deeply and passionately. 

"I love you." She kisses him again. "I love you, I love you, I love you!" She exclaims, burying herself into his arms. He grins and holds her close to him and buries his face in her hair. They stood in each other's embrace for the longest time, happy to have found each other. 

|-----o-----| 

Doug walked into his and Carol's house after work a few days after he had found out she was pregnant. He smiled at her when he saw her curled up on the couch, asleep. She had asked him to move in later that night after they had come home from the park and he had readily agreed. According to him, he was the luckiest man alive, just to have her. 

He moved to the couch, gently taking the television remote from her hand. He turned the TV off and looked back at her. He crouched down in front of her, smiling softly. He pulled the blanket back and noticed she had her hand spread across her stomach. He knew it wasn't coincidental. He reached up, brushing her hair away from her face and stroking her cheeks gently. She stirred, turning her face towards his hand. He smiled and bent down, placing a kiss on the corner of her mouth. She sighed softly. Doug held in his chuckle as he bent down, kissing the other corner of her mouth. She turned her lips toward his in her sleep. He chuckled softly and pressed his mouth to hers, feeling her begin to respond. 

"Doug?" Carol murmured softly. He pulled away, smiling slightly as she opened her eyes to look up into his face. 

"Hey beautiful." He whispered. She grinned softly. 

"Mmm...how long have you been home?" She asks, stretching beneath him. 

"Just got home a few seconds ago." He replies. She nods and brings her arms back to his side. 

"How was work?" She asks. He smiles. 

"Fine. I missed you all day." He said. She grinned. 

"Did you?" She asked. He nodded. 

"Yup, and I went and bought you something after work." Doug says. Her eyes widen. 

"You bought me something? Like a present?" She asks. He grins. 

"Sort of like a present, yeah." He says. She smiles. 

"Where is it?" She asks. He grins and pats his pocket. 

"Right here." He says. She squinted, trying to figure out what was in his pocket, but she couldn't pick out any specific shape. 

"What is it?" She asks. He grins and sits back on his heels as she sits up. He smiles. 

"You'll have to wait a minute." He says and gets up on the couch beside her. She is rumpled up from her sleep and he has the urge to bring her to him and kiss her tenderly, but knows that won't get him anywhere but to bed. He wants to wait before they go there. 

"Doug?" She asks. He smiles and brings his hand up to her lips. 

"Shh..Just let me talk." He says. She nods her head in agreement, tucking her hair behind her ear. He reached into his pocket and took out a ring. She gasped. 

"Doug.." She exclaims. 

"Wait Carol." He says. She looks up at him. "I'm not proposing." He says, grinning. She looks at him, waiting for him to speak. "I love you, Carol. I want to marry you some day, but I don't think we are ready. Do you think we are?" He asks. She shakes her head slightly, knowing he is right. "Well, I know I want to marry you some day. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our child...children, but I know we're not ready. And..I don't want to get engaged or married if we're not ready. I don't want to push you. I'll tell you when I'm ready and then I'll wait for you to be ready if you're aren't when I am." He says, grinning slightly. She smiles before looking down at the ring in his hand. It's gold with three tiny emeralds on the top. "But....I want this to be a promise ring." He says as she looks up at him again. "I want to know that you'll always be mine and I'll always be yours, until we decide to make it legal. I don't want anyone else to have you ever and I don't want anyone else to be with me either. I want you to wear this ring if you promise to keep this promise." He says. She nods, swallowing the lump her in throat as her eyes well up with tears. 

"I promise." She says, looking up at him. He smiles and nods, before taking her right hand into his own hands. He brings her fingers up to his face and kisses them gently before sliding the gold band onto her ring finger. She sighs happily as she looks down at it. 

"See those three emeralds?" He asks. She nods. 

"Yeah.." She says, looking up at him. 

"Well, they stand for you, me, and the baby." He says. She looks back down at it, before looking up at him, a tear slipping out of her eye and streaking down her cheek. 

"Doug.." She whispers. He smiles at her, before leaning over and kissing her wet cheek. 

"I love you, Carol." He whispers against her skin. She takes his face into his hands and he feels the cool metal against his cheek as she moves her mouth to his. 

"I love you, too, Doug." She murmurs against his lips and buries her face into his neck. He pulls her as close to him as possible and holds her tightly. "Doug..I..I never knew I could feel this way. I thought..I thought I loved Tag and Shep, but, but this is just so much more." She says. He smiles and nods his head. 

"I know, baby, I know." He says. 

|-----o-----| 


	4. Growing

Please title this page. (Page 4)

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March 15-20, 01. 

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Okay, this is skipping ahead a few months. Carol is just out of her first trimester. My health teacher told me that is 3 months. So, she's a little over 3 months pregnant at the beginning of this. It will progress throughout. The people at work know that Doug and Carol are together but they don't know she is pregnant....yet. 

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Carol and Doug walked up to the admit desk, holding hands. 

"I need your attention everyone!" Carol called out, looking around at all of her co-workers. It was a rare quiet night. Only two patients were in the emergency room and weren't in need of any immediate care. The staff turned their eyes towards the couple. 

"We have an announcement to make." Doug says. Carol grins at him and looks back at her friends. 

"Yes. As you all know, Doug's been living with me for about 3 months or so. Well, the reason I asked him to move in with me goes beyond the normal reasons that I love him and I wanted him to live with me." She smiles at the curious faces. "The other reason I asked him to move in with me is because.....I am once again, pregnant." Carol says. Everyone around her looks at the two of them, completely dumbfounded. They had all thought Carol would wait awhile before becoming pregnant again. Carol smiles. "This was also an accident, but when we found out, we were thrilled. I am just starting my second trimester. We wanted to wait until I got through my first trimester until we told everyone, just in case." Carol says. All at once, everyone starts to congratulate the two of them, hugging and laughing as they had done just eight months ago, when Carol had told them she was pregnant the first time. Mark and Kerry stood in the back of the crowd, waiting to congratulate them. 

"Didn't they only known each other like seven months before she got pregnant?" Kerry asks, her eyes disapproving. Mark looks at her. 

"Kerry, tell me, have you ever been in love?" Mark asks. She blushes a deep pink, looking away from him. "They obviously are in love. I've never seen two people as in love as they are. Time doesn't matter with love." Mark says and looks away from her as he comes up to Doug and Carol. He smiles at them. 

"Congratulations you guys." He says, hugging Carol and kissing her cheek. He then pats Doug on the back and smiles once more. Kerry grins at them. 

"Uh, I want to wish you luck." She says. Doug and Carol smile. 

"Thanks Kerry." Carol says. Kerry grins and hugs Carol then Doug, rather awkwardly. She smiles before limping away. 

"Whew!" Doug exclaims. Carol giggles and leans up towards his face. 

"I love you, Doug." She says. He grins and kisses her quickly. 

"I love you too." He says. 

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

About a month later Carol was standing at the computer at the admit desk, looking up some information about a patient. Doug was standing a few feet away, writing something in a chart. Carol suddenly stopped what she was doing and placed a hand on her stomach, her face looking slightly startled. Soon enough a huge smile spread across her face. 

"Doug!" She exclaims. He looks at her quickly, startled by her outburst. 

"What?" He asks. She grins. 

"I felt the baby." She says. He looks at her, his eyes quizzical before they light up in realization. 

"It kicked?" He asks. She nods. 

"Here..." She says, reaching out for his hand and pulling him towards her. She placed his hand on her stomach. 

"Right here...Wait a second..." She says, grinning. All of a sudden they both feel the movement. 

"I feel it." Doug says, grinning wildly, feeling the soft kicks against his spread hand. He looks up at her, catching her eye. "Wow." He whispers. Mark walks up, looking at the two of them. 

"What are you two doing?" Mark asks. Doug grins happily as he looks at Mark. 

"The baby kicked for the first time!" He exclaims, his hand still on Carol's stomach as he awaits some more movement. Mark chuckles, remembering when he had felt that first movement against Jen's stomach when she had Rachel. 

"That's great you guys." Mark says, smiling at them and walking away. Doug looks back at Carol as he feels another movement against his hand. 

"I never got to feel the other baby." Carol says, her voice tinted slightly with sadness. Doug smiles and reaches up with his other hand, touching her cheek gently. 

"I know this baby won't replace the other one, Carol, but I promise you that this baby will be okay. I will take care of you and the baby and we won't let anything happen to it. I promise." Doug says. She smiles at him. 

"I know you won't. I can't wait to see our little baby, to hold it." Carol says. He grins. 

"I can't wait either." He replies, kissing her gently. 

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Carol stood in her bedroom in front of the full length mirror. She had her shirt up over her stomach and she was tracing patterns over her swollen abdomen with her fingers. At 5 months, Carol's body was growing rapidly and although she complained about it, she was loving every single minute of it. She was so focused on her stomach that she nearly screamed when Doug's arms slide around her and he smiled at her in the mirror. 

"Jesus H. Christ, Doug, you scared me to death!" She exclaims. He laughs softly, nuzzling her neck. 

"What are you doing, beautiful?" He asks. She grins. 

"Looking at the baby..." She says. He chuckles. 

"Beautiful baby, ain't she?" He asks. She giggles. 

"She?" She asks. He nods. 

"Well..you want a girl, I want a girl, so maybe if it's a boy, he'll decide to have a sex change before he comes out." Doug says. Carol giggles and looks back down at her stomach in the mirror which Doug is massaging gently. She sighs happily and places her hands on top of his. 

"Doug?" She asks. 

"Hmmm..." He replies softly. 

"We still haven't picked out a name yet." Carol says. 

"We've got 4 months. So..since I figure it will take us that long to decide, let's start thinking. Tell me your ideas." He says. 

"Girls or boys?" She asks. 

"Give me three of each." He says. She nods and chews her bottom lip as she thinks. 

"Lindsay, Jennifer, and Kay. Aaron, Joshua, or Andrew." She says. He shrugs. 

"None of those really stand out for me. Uhh..Abigail, Leigh, or Jamie. Tyler, Matthew, or Jacob." He says. She shrugs. 

"I like Leigh, but none of the others, really." Carol says. He nods. 

"Hmm...How about..Carolina or Douglas Jr." He says. She giggles and turns to face him. 

"You're silly." She says. He chuckles softly as she presses her nose against his. 

"Hmm...Bernadette?" He teases. She laughs. 

"Nooo way!" She exclaims. "Bradley is cute." She says. 

"Julia?" He asks. 

"Mable." She suggests, grinning. 

"No way in hell." He says. 

"Adam or Eve?" She suggests. He chuckles. 

"I do like those names." He says. She smiles. 

"Yeah, me too." She says, resting her head against his shoulder. 

"Colt?" He suggests. She wrinkles her nose. 

"No." They both say at the same time then laugh. 

\\\\\\\\

Doug was laying on the bed, Carol beside him. She was laying back and he was propped up on his elbow, one hand running over her stomach. 

"I like Owen." She says. He nods. 

"Yeah, me too." He replies. 

"Owen Nicholas? Owen Michael?" She suggest. 

"Hmm...Owen James?" He suggests. She shrugs. 

"Well, we both like Owen......we'll decide on the middle name later." She says. 

"Wait a second...I do like Owen Nicholas or Owen Michael..." Doug says. She nods. 

"Okay..we'll argue over those two later. Now, what about girls?" She suggests. He grins, knowing she is excited to pick out girl names because she wants a daughter. He spreads his hand across her stomach, lying it still. 

"Mable or Bernadette still really catch my interest.." He grins, teasing her. She smacks his shoulder slightly. 

"Seriously, Doug!" She protests. He smiles, becoming serious, knowing she is anxious. He traces shapes across her stomach. 

"Hmm..Joanna." He suggests, the name just popping out of his mind. She looks up at him and her eyes widen. 

"Joanna.." She says, letting the name slide off her tongue. All of a sudden, the baby kicks for the first time since they had began to discuss baby names. His eyes widen and he looks up at her. 

"Did you feel that?" He asks. She nods. 

"I think she likes it." Carol says. 

"I know I do." He says. She grins. 

"Jo...Aw, Doug's that's so cute." She says, placing her hand next to his on her stomach as she feels the baby kick once more. "I think she likes it, Doug. Let's name her that." Carol says. He nods and smiles, bending down and kissing her stomach. 

"Joanna Michelle....Joanna Kay...Joanna Allison...Joanna Lee......Hmmm..I can't think of anything good, can you?" He asks. She shakes her head. 

"No, but that is what I want to name her. Joanna. Please, Doug, can we?" She asks eagerly. He chuckles. 

"Sure. I love it." He kisses her belly again. "Do you like it too?" He asks, placing his ear against her stomach. Carol giggles as Doug nods. "Mmm hmm. Good, great." He says and lifts his head, looking up at Carol. "She likes it!" Doug exclaims. Carol laughs and runs her fingers through his hair. 

"I have an appointment next week. Are we going to find out then, or are we going to wait to see if we've got a boy or a girl?" She asks. He grins. 

"Let's wait! I want to be surprised, and if we find out, we won't have fun calling her Joanna even if it is a boy!" Doug exclaims. She giggles and smiles. 

"I really want a girl, Doug." Carol says. He smiles and nods his head. He kisses her stomach briefly before moving up closer to her. 

"I know you do. I do too." Doug says. Carol smiles. 

"I know I'll be disappointed if it's a boy, but if it is I know I will love him just as much. It's just always been my dream to have a little girl first. I think it's because I always used to look up to my older sisters." Carol says. Doug nods. 

"I want a little girl because I think it'll be cute to have a little Carol running around." He says and reaches up, fingering one of her curls, grinning. "She'll have hair just like you and it'll bounce when she runs. Boys will tease her at school and always pull her hair, but only because it's so intriguing." Doug says. Carol giggles slightly and touches his cheek with her fingers. He smiles at her. "And she'll play with dolls and when she gets older she'll play either softball or basketball....or maybe she'll dance." Doug says. Carol smiles, enjoying listening to him. He smiles at her. "If we don't have a girl this time, I promise we will eventually." He says. Her eyes widen slightly and he nuzzles her neck. "I love you, Carol." Doug says. 

"I love you too." She says, kissing his cheek. He pulls Carol up and into his arms. She laughs slightly as he sits her on his lap, her back against his chest. He wraps his arms around her and rests them on her stomach. "What do you suppose she'll be when she grows up?" Carol asks. 

"Mmm..Maybe she'll go into the medical profession. Or maybe she won't. But she'll be smart and we'll be proud of her." Doug says. Carol grins and lays her head back on Doug's shoulder. 

"Doug..I know that people make promises to each other all the time and they don't always keep them. But....Promise me that you will never leave me." Carol says, looking up at him. "I don't want to go without you. I've never felt like this before." Carol says. He grins and kisses her gently. 

"I promise I'll never leave you. Never. I want to see you when your curls are gray...then white." Doug says. Carol laughs and hits his leg playfully and he chuckles, burying his face into the back of her neck, smelling her. 

"I'm going to dye my hair even when I'm a hundred years old just so you can never have the satisfaction." She says. He chuckles. 

"You'll get tired of dying it eventually and you just won't care anymore and you'll let me see it." He says. She giggles softly against his chest. 

"I suppose, only if it will make you happy." She says, smiling. He grins. 

"You make me happy." He whispers into her ear. She grins and turns back towards him, pressing her lips to his gently. He brings one hand up to her face, stroking her cheek gently and presses his lips further into hers. 

"Doug.." She murmurs against his lips. 

"Hmm?" He asks. 

"I want some pickles." Carol says, pulling away from him and looking into his eyes seriously. He bites back a smile. 

"Do we have any?" He asks. She shakes her head. 

"No." She says. 

"Do you want me to go get you some?" He asks. She grins. 

"Would you?" She asks. He smiles and kisses her gently as he removes himself from underneath her. 

"Sure. Sweet or dill?" He asks. 

"Dill. Oh, and could you get the flat slices? Not the spears." She says. He chuckles slightly. 

"Sure, honey. Anything else?" He asks. She shakes her head, smiling at him. 

"Nope." She says. He grins, shoving his tennis shoes on. 

"Okay, I'll be back in a little bit." He says, kissing her forehead before leaving the room. He waits until the door is closed behind him before he laughs to himself. 

\\\\\\\\

Doug walked back into the house. He placed the pickles down on the counter and made his way back to the bedroom. 

"Carol?" He says softly as he walks into the room. He smiles at what he sees. She is lying on her side, one hand under her cheek and the other curled against her stomach. She is sleeping soundly. He watches her for a few seconds before heading back to the kitchen. He takes the pickles out of the plastic sack and places them in the refrigerator. He throws the bag into the trashcan before making his way back to the bedroom. Doug gets some fresh boxers out of the dresser and goes into the bathroom. 

After his shower, Doug headed back into the room and smiled at Carol's still form. He moved around to his side of the bed and pulled the covers back. Since Carol was laying atop the covers, he managed to get them out from under her without stirring her much. He pulled the covers over both of them and Carol turned in her sleep, as if she sensed him with her. She reached out for him and when she found his chest, laid her hand upon it. He grinned, slightly amused. He scooted closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and drawing her to his chest. She snuggled in closely, never waking. He kisses her forehead gently and felt the baby move against him. 

"G'night baby." He whispered quietly and soon he too fell asleep. 

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Carol stood at work, one hand on her back, helping support the weight of her stomach. At six months pregnant, she was feeling pretty grumpy. She sighed and pushed her hair out of her face with her free hand as she looked at Chairs. She slowly made her way up to the desk. 

"Randi, what's wrong with all these people?" Carol asks. 

"Various things." Randi replied, snapping her gum carelessly, never taking her eyes away from the mushy romance novel she was reading. Carol rolled her eyes and her gaze was caught on Doug as he moved towards the admit desk, having yet to spot her. Even though she saw him everyday, it still made her heart skip every time she saw him. His gaze met hers and he smiled widely, making his way towards her. 

"How are you?" He asks quietly. 

"Hot." She replies. He chuckles softly and brushes her hair away from her face. 

"You should go rest in the lounge." Doug says. She shakes her head. 

"I'll be fine." She says and the two of them look at Chairs. 

"I should get some work done." Doug says, picking up a chart. He flips through it. "Want to join me with this 5 year old with a possible wrist sprain?" Doug asks. She forces a grin on her face. 

"Sure, why not." She says. He chuckles, noticing her fake enthusiasm. 

"Just a few more hours, baby." He says. She nods. 

"I know." She replies, following him to Chairs. He nods at a woman who is carrying a struggling five year old. The woman smiles at Doug, strained as she tries to control her son. 

"Matthew!" She exclaims, obviously exasperated. Carol smiles politely as they walk into Exam Two, listening to Doug talk to the woman. 

"Mrs. Lyon, why don't you sit down here on the bed and hold Matthew in your lap." Doug says. She nods. 

"Okay." She says. 

"No!" The little boy exclaims, hitting his mothers arm. Doug and Carol both notice how he is favoring his other arm, knowing he really is hurt. 

"Matthew! Stop!" Mrs. Lyon says. 

"Let me go!" He whines, obviously rather frightened by the prospect of Doug and Carol. 

"Hey pal, it's going to be okay." Carol says gently as Doug gets ready to examine him. The little boy sticks his tongue out at Carol. 

"Matthew, tell the nurse you're sorry!" His mother exclaims. 

"I'm not!" He exclaims, still struggling against his mother. She looks up at Carol apologetically. 

"I'm sorry." She says. Carol smiles softly. 

"It's okay." She says, hoping to God her child doesn't act this way in public one day. 

"Carol?" Doug asks, pulling her aside. She goes willingly. "I need to give him this shot. Do you think you can do it?" Doug asks. She smiles. 

"Sure. I'll try my best." She says, taking the syringe from him. Carol tries to hide it as she comes up to the child. 

"I'm going to have to give him a s-h-o-t." Carol says, explaining to the mother. Her eyes widen. 

"Oh God." Mrs. Lyon replies. Carol smiles. 

"If you could just try to get him to look away and hold him as still as possible." Carol says. Mrs.Lyon nods, glancing over at Doug quickly, who has his back turned away from the trio. The woman tries to turn her son away and manages to get his attention elsewhere. Carol moves in to press the needle into the boys flesh, but he turns his head just before she can do it. He sees the needle and immediately moves, his foot coming out and kicking Carol squarely in the stomach. She gasps slightly, dropping the syringe and clutching to her stomach with one hand. Doug turns at the sound of Carol's gasp and looks at her. She glances at him quickly, frightened. 

"Oh my God, I am so sorry. Matthew Paul!" The mother exclaims. The child is still, his eyes wide, realizing he had hurt the woman. 

"Doug..." Carol mutters. He pays no attention to the woman and her son as he gathers Carol close to him. He pulls her, stumbling, out into the hallway. He spots Kerry down the hall. 

"Kerry?!" He calls out. She looks up. "I need your help!" Doug says. Carol has tears in her eyes, one hand on her stomach, the other clutching Doug. Kerry comes limping as quickly as she can down the hall. 

"What happened?" Kerry asks. 

"A little boy kicked Carol in the stomach. We need to get her a gurney and I need someone to go back in with the kid." Doug says. Kerry looks beyond Doug and Carol and spots John Carter. 

"Carter!" She yells. He turns to look at her. 

"Yeah, Kerry?" He asks, coming towards them. 

"I need you to take this little boy." Kerry says, motioning towards the Exam Room. Without waiting for his answer, she and Doug help Carol up onto a gurney. She is breathing hard, biting her lower lip as she tries to fight the tears. Mark comes around the corner. 

"What's going on?" He asks. 

"Carol got hit in the stomach." Kerry says, turning her attention back to Carol. "Are you feeling any contractions?" She asks. 

"No.." Carol says, looking up at Doug, frightened for their child. He smiles softly at her. 

"It's going to be okay." Doug says as he, Mark, and Kerry wheel Carol into another empty exam room. 

"I'll go get an ultrasound machine." Mark says immediately, exiting the room. Kerry begins to check Carol through. 

"Doug.." Carol whispers. He looks down at her, squeezing her hand gently. 

"How do you feel?" He asks. 

"It's sore....But it's not a sharp pain. It's just a dull ache from his kick." Carol says. He nods, stroking her forehead gently as he watches Kerry. She listens to the baby's heartbeat through her stethoscope. 

"I think I hear the pulse." Kerry says, just as Mark wheels the machine back into the room. 

"Okay...are we ready?" Mark asks, giving Carol a comforting smile. She nods, still fighting the tears as she grasps to Doug's hand. 

"What if I'm spotting?" She asks suddenly, the thought just occurring to her. Mark, Kerry, and Doug all look at her. 

"Do you want Kerry to check?" Mark asks then. She nods. 

"Yes." She whispers. Mark looks at Kerry who nods. Mark begins to work with the machine, turning it on, as Kerry manages to get Carol's scrub bottoms off and a sheet over her. Carol is too worried to be embarrassed as she watches Kerry, her stomach churning. When Kerry looks up, she meets Mark's eyes instead of Doug's or Carol's. 

"Kerry?!" Carol asks frantically, noticing the look on her co-workers face. 

"Kerry, what is it?" Doug asks, his nerves pumping. She looks at them. 

"There's some spotting." She says. Carol lets her head fall back to the pillow and lets out a strangled moan. "But there's not much. It doesn't mean anything, yet, Carol. Don't panic." Kerry says. 

"I'm ready to do the ultrasound." Mark says. Carol looks at him quickly, nervous and impatient, tears threatening her eyes. 

"Hurry..." She whimpers. 

"I'm going to call Dr. Coburn." Kerry says. The three of them nod at her, before turning back to the machine. As Kerry steps towards the door to dial up to obstretics, she sees the staff outside at the admit desk, looking towards the room curiously, wondering what is going on. She turns her back towards them as she dials the number. 

"Okay, Carol. This'll be kind of cool." Mark says, spreading the gel over her exposed abdomen. She barely feels the cold as she waits for him to continue. He places the handle on her stomach. "Okay..here we go." He says as the image flickers onto the screen. Although Doug is worried, he can't help but feel that sharp jump of his heart when he sees his child. Mark grins slightly, pointing to the screen. 

"There's the heartbeat." Mark says. Carol and Doug nod. "It sounds nice and steady. It doesn't look like the baby's been to disturbed." Mark says, looking back at Doug and Carol. They nod and Doug squeezes her hand gently just as Kerry comes back. to the bedside. 

"Coburn said to send you up." Kerry says, looking at the screen. "That's looking good, Carol." Kerry says. Carol nods, letting out a half relieved sigh. 

"Should I get her strapped to it so we can get her upstairs?" Mark asks. Kerry nods. 

"Sure." She replies. 

\\\\\\\\

Within minutes, Carol was upstairs in a different bed, Doug still by her side. Kerry and Mark were replaced with Dr. Coburn who was checking Carol over. 

"Everything checks out okay. The spotting was just a normal reaction. The baby is fine. I'm going to send you home, no more working for today. And if you feel any contractions at all I want you to come into the hospital right away." She says. Carol and Doug nod. "Do you have to work tomorrow?" Janet Coburn asked Carol. She nodded. 

"Yes." Carol replies. 

"Good. After your shift tomorrow, come in and I'll give you another check-up. If everything checks out okay, I'll just see you again for your regular check-up in a couple of weeks." Janet says. Carol nods. 

"Thank you." She says. Dr. Coburn nods as she gets ready to leave. 

"Take it easy tonight." She says, smiling, before leaving the room. Carol sighs in relief and looks up at Doug. He smiles. 

"Everything's okay." He says. She nods, smiling weakly. 

"Let's go home." She says. He nods. 

\\\\\\\\

Doug and Carol walked to the bedroom, holding hands. 

"Do you want to get a lukewarm bath?" Doug asks. She nods. 

"Mmm..that sounds good." She says. He nods. 

"Okay, you get ready and I'll go start your bath." He says, kissing her forehead before walking into the bathroom. She stays behind, getting changed into her robe. He fills up the tub with warm water, making sure it's not to hot, as it could damage the baby. Within minutes the tub is filled and Carol is walking into the bathroom, the robe on, but untied, showing her nakedness beneath it. He smiles at her as she comes in. He wraps his arms around her and kisses her gently. 

"You're so beautiful." He says. She grins and leans her forehead against his for a few seconds before pulling away from him and getting into the bath. Doug got down behind her in the tub and massaged her shoulders softly, her head lolling forward in enjoyment. She sighs, content. 

"You have wonderful hands." She says. He chuckles. 

"Feel good?" He asks. She nods. 

"Amazing." She replies and he smiles, kissing the back of her head gently as he continues massaging. 

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\


	5. Life

Please title this page. (Page 5)

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March 23-May 18, 01. 

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Carol lay on her and Doug's bed, fanning herself slightly. She was hot, exhausted, and her feet were swollen. She felt like a whale. Even though she was complaining to herself in her mind, she knew she wouldn't care if she had legs growing off her head as long as she had a healthy baby who she got to love and share with Doug. She smiled and looked down at her swollen, nine month old stomach and patted it gently. She suddenly got the overwhelming urge to urinate. Carol sat up with some difficulty, her huge abdomen nearly preventing her from sitting. She stood, making her way into the restroom. She knew it wouldn't be long before the baby would be here, because she was beginning to feel slight contractions. They didn't come very often, only every few hours and they weren't painful. More like a pressure. She smiled as she sat on the toilet. 

When Carol stood she felt a slight pop then wetness on her legs. She looked down and saw clear fluid in her underpants and on her sweatpants. 

"My water broke." Carol murmured, looking down. She grinned suddenly before waddling into the bedroom, her pants still down around her ankles. She managed to get herself out of them and into fresh underwear and sweats before picking up her bag from beside the door. She was half way out the bedroom door, when she felt another contraction. This one was painful, unlike the other ones. She stopped, wincing slightly and leaning on the doorframe. 

"Oh.." She whispered to herself and straightened, making her way down the stairs carefully. She made it to the telephone and wondered who to call. She finally decided to see if Mark was home. She picked up the phone and dialed the number to his apartment. 

"Hello?" A woman's voice answered the phone, her British accent apparent. 

"Hey Elizabeth." Carol said. 

"Oh, hello Carol. How are you?" Elizabeth asked. 

"I'm good, actually, I'm great. Is Mark there?" Carol asked. 

"No, he's not. He had to take Rachel to a friend's house. Is there something I can do?" Elizabeth asked. 

"Uh, I need a ride to the hospital." Carol says. Elizabeth pauses before speaking again. 

"Are you having contractions?" She asked. 

"Yes. I've had only 3 today, and they weren't really painful. It was just pressure. But I was going to the restroom and my water broke and as I was leaving my room, I had one more contraction and it hurt. I need a ride to the hospital and I don't want to call Doug or a cab and I can't take the El." She says. 

"Say no more. I'll be over as soon as I can. I'm leaving now." Elizabeth said and hung up the phone. As she ran into the kitchen, writing Mark a short note about where she was, as Carol was sitting on the couch patiently, awaiting Elizabeth's arrival and more contractions. 

Within minutes, Elizabeth had arrived at Carol's house. Carol was already awaiting her at the door when she came running up the steps. Carol swung the door opened, carrying her hospital bag and smiling widely. Elizabeth grinned. 

"Hey Carol. How are you doing?" She asked, taking the bag from Carol and helping her down the steps. 

"I'm good. I haven't had any contractions since the last one after my water broke." Carol said, waddling down the steps. Elizabeth smiled. 

"Good. At least we know we'll get to the hospital before you deliver this little guy....or girl." Elizabeth said, opening up the front door for Carol. She places the bag in the back and then helps Carol into the front. Just as Carol is almost in, she stops and squeezes Elizabeth's hand. "Another?" Elizabeth asks. Carol nods, gritting her teeth slightly. Elizabeth waits until it passes and Carol then looks at her watch. 

"11 minutes." Carol said. 

"That's good." Elizabeth said and then careful not to hit Carol, she shut the door and ran to her side. They were soon on their way. 

ooooo 

Elizabeth had Carol's bag thrown over her shoulder and she was walking with Carol into the hospital, helping her along. 

"God, it feels like the head is between my knees." Carol said. Elizabeth grinned. 

"That's the general idea, Carol." Elizabeth said. Carol nodded, trying to walk normal and not like she had a basketball between her knees. 

"Hey Randi." Carol called out pleasantly, as if this happened to her everyday. Randi looked up. 

"Carol what are you going here? Elizabeth? You're both off today." Randi says. 

"We are. Is Doug around?" Elizabeth replied. Randi stopped, suddenly realizing what was going on. 

"Are you...?" She trailed off. Carol giggled slightly. 

"Yes, I am and where's...uhh..." Carol said, her voice trailing off and her smile fading. 

"Another?" Elizabeth asked. 

"Uh huh." Carol replied. Elizabeth waited patiently for it to pass before lifting Carol's wrist to check out her watch. 

"Still 11 minutes." Elizabeth replied. Carol nodded. 

"Uh..I'll get Doug." Randi said, not wanting to see a child slide out from between Carol's legs. 

"Thank you." Elizabeth replied. Randi, in a hurry, decided not to go search for Doug, instead she used the intercom. 

"Dr. Ross, please report to the admit desk. You're needed immediately." Randi said. Within seconds Doug was approaching the desk, still not spotting Carol. 

"Randi, what was that all ab--...Carol?" Doug asked, spotting her and Elizabeth. She smiled. 

"Hey honey. I think you have somewhere to take me." Carol said. He stopped. 

"Are you contracting?" He asked. She grinned. 

"Yep. 5 so far today. And my water already broke." Carol said. He smiled then and walked around to the desk. 

"Did you bring her, Elizabeth?" Doug asked. Elizabeth nodded. 

"Yes." Elizabeth replied. He smiled. 

"Thanks." Doug said. 

"I didn't want to call you and have you drive clear out and I didn't want to take a cab or the El." Carol said. He grinned. 

"That's fine." Doug says, just as Mark comes striding through the doors to the ER. 

"What's going on?" Mark asked. 

"You got my note?" Elizabeth asked. He nodded. 

"Carol, your water broke already?" He asked. She nodded, smiling. 

"Yes." She replied. 

"Well then what are you doing down here? Get her upstairs, Doug." Mark ordered, smiling. Doug grinned. 

"We were on our way." Doug replied, and took Carol under his arm, beginning to lead her to the elevator. 

"Keep us posted." Elizabeth said. Carol looked back, smiling. 

"We will." She replied. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"It's a girl!" Dr. MacLucas announced, holding the wet baby in her arms. 

"Did you hear that, Carol? It's a girl!" Doug announced. 

"Joanna Lynn." She said, her smile wide accompanied by tears rolling down her cheeks as she held her arm out for the wailing baby. She brought the baby as close to her as she could and smiled happily. "Oh Doug." She murmured. He smiled as he watched her, falling in love with her all over. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Doug sauntered into the ER, walking up to the admit desk. He leaned against it and waited for someone to notice him. Within seconds Mark had noticed him. 

"Doug!" Mark called out, causing everyone to look at him. "So?" Mark asked, walking up to him. 

"Joanna Lynn was born 1:33 p.m." He said proudly. 

"Congratulations!" Everyone said. He smiled. 

"Carol is thrilled. I'm thrilled." He smiled widely. "I'm a Daddy." He said. Everyone chuckled at his happiness, all of them forgetting their own worries, their own troubles for a brief moment as they basked in the glow of a new life. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Yes, it's short. It's sweet. And I know I didn't give you much of a birth scene. But it feels like I write those in every other fic I write. So, check out some of my other fics. :) 

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	6. Family Love

Please title this page. (Page 1)

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June 5th 

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Carol and Doug were snuggled up on the couch together, watching a movie in their living room. Carol slid out of Doug's arms and stood. She stretched luxuriously. 

"I'm going to get us something more to drink." She said, showing him her empty glass. He nodded and smiled warmly up at her. 

"Alright." He said. 

"Iced tea again?" She asked, picking up his cup. He nodded. 

"Yeah. Thanks Care." He said as she walked to the kitchen. She nodded and smiled warmly as she opened the fridge. She filled their drinks and turned, looking into the living room. Doug was gone. She moved into the living room and saw that it was empty, for sure. She smiled and placed their drinks on the coffee table where they had been before. 

She crept up the stairs and down the hall before she came to a stop in front of the nursery. She looked in and saw Doug holding Joanna. She shook her head and smiled. 

"You woke her up." She said, coming up behind him and leaning her chin on his shoulder as they looked down at their daughter. 

"She was already awake." Doug said. 

"Liar. You just can't keep your hands off of her." Carol said. He grinned and turned his hand, looking at her. 

"You're right. I can't." He said and chuckled. She wrapped her arms gently around his waist. 

"She's got your eyes." She said. 

"Yeah, but she looks like you." Doug said. They had gone over this many times already since two weeks ago when Joanna had been born. Carol smiled and unhooked herself from Doug. She picked up a soft baby blanket and smiled at him. 

"Hand her over." Carol said. He shook his head. 

"Nope." He said, cradling his daughter tighter against his chest. Carol rolled her eyes. 

"Fine. I get her halfway through the movie." She said, heading out of the room. 

"Deal." He said and smiled at her as he followed her into the living room. 

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Doug opened the front door of the house, slipping inside. He slipped out of his shoes and shrugged out of his coat. He put them in the appropriate places, leaving his keys in his coat pocket. He walked a bit further into the house and saw Carol lying on the couch in the living room. He smiled and made his way toward her. 

Carol was sleeping and cradling a sleeping Joanna to her chest. The blankets were pulled up to her chest, covering the baby's body except for her tiny head. Doug crouched down beside the couch and smiled softly at his two girls. Carol was exhausted, he knew. He wished he didn't have to work, but since she was on her maternity leave, he had to work. 

Doug reached down and slipped Joanna out of Carol's arms. Carol stirred but didn't wake. Doug stood, cradling Joanna against him, her tiny head resting on his shoulder. He rubbed her back gently as he made his way quietly up the steps. He walked into the nursery and stood, staring down at her for a few brief moments before he placed her into her crib, covering her gently with the soft pink blanket. He turned and made his way back down the stairs and into the living room. 

He bent down over Carol and scooped her up into his arms. She sighed and turned her head into his chest and murmured something he couldn't understand. He smiled and walked back to their bedroom, laying her on the bed. He somehow managed to get the covers out from under her and back on top of her without her waking. He stripped down to his boxers and slid under the covers. 

Doug reached out, pulling her gently against him. She turned in her sleep, snuggling against his chest and letting out a soft sigh. He smiled, kissed her forehead, and closed his eyes to sleep. 

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"All done?" Doug asked as Carol came down the stairs, holding Joanna to her chest. Carol nodded. She had just finished feeding Joanna. 

"Yep. I changed her too." Carol said. He nodded and patted his lap. 

"C'mere." He said. She smiled and walked to him. She sat carefully in his lap, making sure she had Joanna secure to her. Doug wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back against him. She settled in, leaning on him. "She's a pretty little girl." Doug murmured, smiling slightly. Carol grinned. "Just like her Mama." Doug finished. Carol turned her head and kisses him softly before turning back to look at her daughter. 

"She's smiling!" Carol gasped slightly. Doug chuckled. At three weeks old, this was Joanna's first smile. 

"Go Jo! Go Jo!" Doug chanted softly, touching a tip of Joanna's silky black hair. Carol bent down, kissing Joanna's cheek. 

"That's my girl." She murmured and Doug chuckled. His heart nearly burst with love for his small family. He never wanted to be anywhere else, but here. 

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End file.
